Paula's Place

Paula's Place

Thursday 6 December 2012

Freddy Bassett's

Joe makes a very good point, I do wonder whether my cross dressing is the problem, or a symptom of other problems in our lives, in our marriage.   Some of the questions I was asked on Tuesday at our first session made me wonder, "what triggers the urge to dress?" "Why have you not sought help to stop before?" "Are there not other ways you can feel feminine without the clothes?" however I also wonder if they are the right questions at all.


I am very confused at the moment, but I do know that I want to do whatever I can to make our marriage "work" at the moment I have trust that my wife shares this determination, I think there are areas where we both need to change.   I think that there are often times when my status within the family is undermined (I won't go into details) following these occasions I will often find I am dressing, or at least thinking about it more.   It seems strange that maybe I react to having my masculinity undermined by boosting my femininity, or maybe this is just another source of stress...... too many questions not enough answers.

Feeling pretty grotty this morning, and seeing the snow fall I decided on a day at home, I have some data entry work to catch up on so it won't be a wasted day, but started off with a long soak in the bath, while I was soaking there was yet another piece on Woman's Hour about prostitution, one of the interviewees made the unchallenged assertion that no one had the right to make a moral judgement about what other people do, well maybe - to a certain extent.   I don't want anyone making a moral judgement about my clothing choices, but much of our legal infrastructure is based on moral judgements, this is why we have laws against rape, child abuse, violent crimes etc. etc. to a great extent the basis of society is the consensus of moral judgement, it is just that the centre of that judgement changes.   In the 60's much was illegal that is now an accepted part of everyday life, there is still a mutual moral judgement, it is just that our collective view used to be that homosexual acts should not be allowed, now the view has changed so that any discrimination on the basis of sexual preferences is anathema to most of us.   We not only have the right to make a moral judgement, we have an obligation to, it's just that most of us only have an opportunity to act on those judgements once every five years or so.   I do think that we need to address the legal situation of people working in the sex trade (it is not an industry!) and I am glad that BBC is grasping this thorny issue, this is just the sort of thing the BBC is good at and should be encouraged to continue to do.

Just for Juliet, from Chambers (1993 edition) " Minutia mi-nū shi-∂ a minute particular or detail:- usu in pl minutiae (-ĕ) " There I knew it must be in there somewhere

2 comments:

LL Cool Joe said...

Of course I don't know you, only through your blog, but if I were to guess at some stuff, I'd say that you miss the way your wife used to look. You've said more than once that she's put on weight. I'm sure that has made her insecure in many ways making her feel less attractive and that may be reflecting itself in the way she now dresses. I think you miss that, the prettiness of it all, the sexy underwear etc. and in some way you miss it so much that you're making yourself pretty almost as a substitute. What you miss and long for, you are creating yourself.

But that's just my take on it and I could be wrong.

Paula said...

I think you have a very good point here, I have wondered about this myself, I hope that it is a area we may be able to explore during our counseling, when we have a built up some trust and confidence. I am pleased to say that my wife has started to wear nail polish, I knwo this is not to everyones taste, but I take it as a good sign.