Looking Back ~ Part 2 Out of Control

One of the reason I didn't do too well with my resolutions last year was that they were confused, I thought I was in control but of course we are very rarely in control of much of our lives.

I am not in control of my business, like most businesses I am reliant on customers, but I am also reliant on the weather, this year they have both been pretty good to me.   I have been working pretty much all year, I always seem to have had plenty to do and have managed a good deal of it.   There have also been a couple of jobs that have been very satisfying on a creative level as well business and horticultural levels.   Despite all that, I am still in serous financial do~dos.   So business wise a pretty good year, financially mixed.

I have found that I am not in control of much of my personal life ~ sometimes we deceive ourselves that we are in control, but the way my own personal life has in so many ways plummeted out of control this last year has confirmed that while we may have some small areas of control in fact we are subject to the will of others, and if there is such a thing fortune.

I may have some control over how well I play my music, but I am dependent on being asked, as a lowly (sic) tuba and bass trombone player I am reliant on orchestras requesting my services.   In this respect it has been a much better year than I have had for some time, but I would still like to do more, and it would be nice to be paid occasionally!

So, much of my life is out of my control, at the whim of others, a hostage to fortune.   Well if I cannot be in control, then at least I can choose who is, and I choose to hand that control over to God, I pray that over this coming year God will guide me, protect, love and cherish me, bring me out of debt, and fulfil His plans for me.   I have some plans, but I know that His are much better.